Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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