your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
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It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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