Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
