i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
