I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
