so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
