if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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