Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
