In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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