Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I could make wine with my vomit
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
