This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
