so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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