ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
