Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
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If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
false alarm, still single
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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