I heard we made out
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I am never drinking with the goths again.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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