I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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