Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I think I died a long time ago.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
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I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
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