His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
