i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
