if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
