I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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