Dual....:-)
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
