On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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