Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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