I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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