Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Drunk is not a location!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
