I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
