Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I look better un-naked...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
areolas are like halos for boobs.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
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