Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
