billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
