You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
