She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I got inside last night via doggy door
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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