So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
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There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
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If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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