If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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