my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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