Me. At least after what I've been through.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
