apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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