I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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