well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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