ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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