The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize