Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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