You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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