i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
