sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
