I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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