just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
