how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
