I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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