NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
