u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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