NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
