Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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