No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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