Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
