Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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