So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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