Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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