I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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