Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
