We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize