I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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