Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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