shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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