My room smells like vodka and shame
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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